sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
