i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Small penises have feelings too.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
