Three words: puerto rican gang bang
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
