Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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