it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
