I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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