I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
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