this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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