please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
