So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Boobs speak an international language.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
