we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
