Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
