therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
