Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
