he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
