I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
