O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
