belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
