Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
