that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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