Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
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