Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
