U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
operation harelip BJ is a go
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
