Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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