At least make sure they are 18
Why
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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