Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
