let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
