you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
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