If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
