who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Alive.
So much puke
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
