Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
