i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I need mimosas to revive my soul
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
