I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Randomize
