yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
