I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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