so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
