Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
