Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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