Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
