Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
he laminated a picture of his dick.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Randomize
