i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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