I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
you never un-have a 4some
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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