I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Randomize
