i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
