Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
