I wannas sexs uuuuu
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
do herpes really smell.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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