I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Randomize
