in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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