This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
