I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
