Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
